The strengths method has four elements:
1. Using soothing touch and compassionate presence throughout the process
2. While the touch is continued, asking the person to talk about the difficult life event or situation they have experienced. Ask them to find the most distressing moment and create a ‘freeze frame’ image of that moment in time.
3. Reminding the person of the strengths they have to deal with problems by asking them to tell you a story about a time they made a contribution in life in a way that made them feel authentic and at their best (see below for inspiration).
4. Revisiting the memory to see how the experience of the difficult life event or situation has changed (it does this all my itself, without effort). It’s easier for the person to check back if they have an image in their mind of the worst moment. Ask the person to describe what has changed when they try to access the memory again (sometimes it may be difficult for them to even ‘see’ the memory any more, or it might be more distant, or a new story emerging?)
Steps 3. and 4. are now repeated until the difficult life event or situation has become easier or resolved.
Or else, the person might just begin to imagine how the painful event or difficult situation could have turned out differently if they didn’t feel so helpless. What might have happened differently to create a better outcome?
As a reminder, this is how it started in the session with Jessica and Sarah:
As the session begins, Jessica starts the soothing touch to Sarah’s arms and face while asking her to relay the story of the humiliating experience with her boss. Jessica has a compassionate presence and she empathises with Sarah’s distress and validates her feelings. At the same time, the soothing touch is helping Sarah to regulate her nervous system, to diminish her painful feelings – although she initially sheds a few tears – and to have a clear mind. Jessica asks Sarah to remember the most distressing moment of the encounter and to freeze that image in her mind.
While still continuing the soothing touch, Jessica then steps into a strengths-based approach and asks Sarah to tell her a story of when she was at her very best. She explains that Sarah might have been facing a particularly difficult situation or maybe she enhanced an already positive situation?
“This was a time,” she explains, “when you were expressing the qualities that made you feel the most authentic and energised. The experience made you feel proud and happy to be alive. Tell me a story of that day,” she instructs.
Questions you can ask to prompt a story about people’s strengths
Ask the person to tell you a story of this time.
For instance, tell me a story,
– about a day when you thought outside the box to solve a problem in a unique way?
– about a time when your curiosity led you to discover something valuable or meaningful.
– about a situation where you carefully considered all perspectives before making an important decision?
For a list of twenty potential questions, see this page.
Or you can find inspiration from a list of possible character strengths, which people could identify with
Values in Action, a part of the positive psychology movement, has created a list of character strengths, which you can use as a prompt to remind people of different ways they may have made a great contribution to a situation.
For instance, you can ask questions like,
- “Can you recall a time when you showed great perseverance despite facing challenges?”
- “When have you used your creativity to solve a difficult problem?”
- “What is an instance where your kindness made a positive impact on someone else?”